5.58am – The Baby wakes up – this is considered a lay in – immediately grateful for extra hour of sleep. 6.16am – Still sitting on edge of bed whilst The Baby uses you as a climbing frame as you try to remember your name, what day it is and how many children are in … More #Mumlife
FURIOUS. Having rearranged the front room to accommodate The Baby’s insanely large play pen I decided the sofas needed brightening up and as such retrieved some of my “spare cushions” hidden away so no grubby fingers or paws could get them. Less than 24 hours later and The Dog has been given ANOTHER one of … More The Bastard Dog
Whilst an overly descriptive and seemingly unnecessary title, it is in fact an entirely accurate summary of the day our son was born. There are many things I could write about (and I will) however this particular entry is inspired but a relatively pissed conversation I had with The Bearded One. He tells me often … More The day a head popped out my front bum and my husband took a shit in a bucket.
If you read my previous entry you’ll know that the last few months have been somewhat challenging for me. Having overcome lots of hurdles with the help of The Bearded One I am back to my usual sarcastic, inappropriate self and so returns the blog. One of the suggestions to help me in my quest … More Sunday is the day of “rest”
Yes it’s been a while since I dared open my laptop and detail the ins and outs of our life. Is it because I ran out of material? Never. Is it because I have a tendency to get over excited about a project, take on too much and have to abandon it half way through? … More It’s been a while…
This morning so far… 4.43am – The Baby starts to wake up (standard) 4.53am – Give up Bastard Dummy fight and bring The Baby into bed to try and claw back extra sleep. 5.09am – Elbow Bearded One for snoring and waking up The Baby. 5.23am – Hold The Baby in awkward position. Comfortable for … More Just think of the crumpets
As has become standard practice nowadays the kids are fully booked on our weekends to have them. Rugby, gymnastics, birthday parties, sleepovers etc. As a rule we have no issue with them going off to these activities but we do object to the 12 hours notice we get given and an itinerary so anal even … More The Pool Party – Taxi for 1!
The big day has arrived. No I’m not getting married, no we’re not moving house, no it’s not even my birthday. I’m having my hair done! The (wonderful) Bearded One surprised me with vouchers to a local chain of salons knowing full well if he told me to book an appointment that he would pay … More Can you get drunk in the hairdressers? No but you can fall asleep!
1. You haven’t slept in months. 2. You smell of sick. 3. Bodily functions don’t bother you. 4. You have grown to stomach and even enjoy freezing cold tea and coffee. 5. Every item of clothing you own has a stain on it. 6. Your house is a shit tip. 7. Your car is a … More 30 signs you’re a parent…
Oh my god. I am failing at being a human right now. This all started when The Bearded One asked me if I wanted to share a beer with him. He had driven to Manchester and back yesterday, the kids were out shopping with their Nan and I was on Baby Duty. As Head of … More Baby Hangover